Tigger Tigger Burning Bright

Thanks Rob for taking our photographs!

Write thank you cards? No thank you. Put away laundry? Load dishwasher? Later, later. It's a beautiful day in Chicago. A great day for a wagon ride.

Also a great day for an nonconsentual costume party!

Thank you, Kelly, for Daniel & Ethan's old Pooh & friends get-ups. We have no ideas for Halloween this year, and these--though a little roomy--just might do. I'm working on not caring so much about making everything cool and homemade and indierock. Like, their birthday party. Wasn't perfect. The kids decorated cupcakes made from a box. A few years ago when I was making my niece and nephew's birthday cakes from scratch, I would never have believed that my own kids would get Betty Crocker bullshit cupcakes for their birthday party. But perfection--if it were attainable--would be boring. And I do what I can do with my ADD brain. Which meant that I took months making decorations and barely remembered the cake. Reminds me of our wedding, when I took months ordering vintage tool boxes for centerpieces in which we were supposed to put the flowers. And then I forgot the flowers! We got them at the last minute. At Lowe's. And all they had were mums. You have to laugh at these things, I mean, if you're me.

I love projects, especially ones that involve kids. But when it comes down to it, it's sometimes more important to get everyone fed, bathed, and put to bed, and then to sit on the couch with a glass of wine and not think.

Anyway, last year's costumes will be hard to top. Here's a refresher:

Effram as Sir Elton John

Lucy as Sinead O'Connor

This year, I thought of Mr. and Mrs. Roper. Effram could wear a cardigan with elbow patches or a bathrobe and black slippers and Lucy could wear a floral 70s mu-mu with beads and an awesome wig. But A) Lisa said, "Yeah, Bess-- it's just not that funny," and B) there is no way Lucy would tolerate any of that. I'm lucky to be able to put a diaper on that baby.

We're still thinking. Or I should probably say I'm still thinking, because Lisa-- I'm pretty sure she couldn't care less. She was a nun every year as a kid and saw Halloween as a burden. I have been making my own costumes and taking them very seriously since I was a small, uptight child. I seem to remember my Cheerios box costume, which didn't fare well as I had to participate in a marching band parade, playing a saxophone. I wish I had a picture so that I could make fun of myself publicly.

I won't do that to my kids. I'm quite prepared for them to be anti-creative halloween costumes. I mean, shouldn't we expect our kids to reject everything we're into and to be everything that we're not? This is one of those things the Religious Right doesn't realize. Straight people make queer kids. Queer people make straight kids. Hopefully mine won't be Republicans or Star Trek fanatics, but I'm going to prepare myself for that. I mean, Lisa loves soccer and played her whole life. I just think she should prepare herself for the kids to not be into it. I'll be very excited for either of them if they're interested in sports. It doesn't seem like Effram would ever reject a ball at this point, but they're only 1. You never know. I don't expect to teach either of them to sew or to watch Project Runway with me. And I don't expect Lucy to want to play the saxophone or be in plays or for Effram to want to go to Juilliard (like the fictional character he was named after), though I'd totally support him if he did. If the world works as I suspect it does, I'm thinking one of them will be into science, and the other will be a politician. They'll tolerate us when they get older, but they may not appreciate our quirky talents. Nature and nurture are very funny concepts. I'm no sociologist, but I'll ask Uncle Robert. I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Another digression! I better finish this before the babies wake up and I go running toward what sounds like someone rattling the bar off his or her crib, and save this to a draft and then never post it, which is what I usually do, in case you wonder where all the posts have been for the past two months. I think there are one or two people who wonder that, anyway.

Me: "Who's up for a party? I'll provide the crackers!"

Lucy: "Book!"

Effram: "Cracker!"

"Wait. You want me to wear what?"

Me: "Oh, just a little costume."

Lucy: "What do you take me for? A chump?"

Lucy: "Effram, after we eat these crackers, we're going to cry, okay?"

Effram: "Lucy, did you know you're wearing an orange cat suit."

Lucy: "Ebear, did you know you're a jackass? But that's okay. Your ears are so soft."

Lucy: "What should we do now?"

Effram: "I don't know, but I look awesome."

"Check out my tail with the sweet bow!"

Lucy: "Guess I'll read."

Effram:  "Hey Weezer, how do I look?"

"See you donkeys later."